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By The Guru
The Guru's Guide to Independence
A lot of lip service is paid to the term independence. Take, for instance, "independent" film. A long long time ago an independent film was something that was financed outside the studio system, a film with chancy hopes of distribution. Now independent film, like alternative music, is just another marketing term. But despite the slutty linguistics of some overenthusiastic media-types there's a lot more to independence than using the word to describe a person, place or a thing.
Everybody is so keen to tell you that if you want to attract a man you have to look or behave a certain generic, Barbie doll way. If I'm not being bombarded with images of perfectly alien looking supermodels, I'm hearing about the unrealistic expectations of beauty men have thanks to aforementioned supermodels and the science of airbrushing. The Seductress by Elizabeth Prioleau proves that that's all nonsense. Men are NOT brainless consumerist zombies seeking same for companionship and procreation (well, at least they're not all brainless consumerist zombies). They are attracted to and fascinated by the unique, the intelligent, the interesting. The women in the Seductress do not waste their time trying to be something they're not in order to attract men. They don't worry about being caretakers or pleasing their men in bed. Instead, they embrace their intelligence, their individuality, their talent, their passions and, lo and behold, well into their golden girl years they still have all the hot and/or interesting men (depending on their tastes) competing for their attention. The book is chock full of inspiring stories about real women who did exactly what they wanted with their lives and attracted lots of men doing it.
Just in case you don't believe Elizabeth Prioleau or the Guru, I would like to suggest a little double feature for you: Carrington and Impromptu. Both are about real women (one a painter, the other a writer) who lived life on their own terms, dressed in a way that was decidedly out of fashion (with, I might add, some seriously bad hair), and had skads of men after them anyway. Lucky Emma Thompson. In Carrington , she turns down sex with Rufus Sewell (Emma – why why why why why?), frolics with a half naked Steve Waddington (mmm… half naked Steve Waddington), rolls around in the hay AND on the carpet with Samuel West (so delicious I had to hit pause and rewind - many many times) and has Jeremy Northam not only caressing her thighs and breasts but giving her the “most satisfying sex of [her] life”. The ending is a bit depressing so unless you're desperate to find out what happens, feel free to stop after the extended sex montage on a yacht with Jeremy Northam. (You heard me. Extended sex montage.) If you like melodrama and soap operas, however, grab your kleenexes and enjoy because there is melodrama aplenty. What can I say? It all ends in tears. Impromptu is much more light-hearted - less intent on biopic-y seriousness than it is on just having fun with the characters. And fun it is. Judy Davis is brilliant as George Sand, a restless, successful writer looking for love in all the wrong places until she meets pianist Frederic Chopin (Hugh Grant looking like a girl in the Worst. Wig. Ever.) Emma Thompson (yes, again), Mandy Patinkin, Bernadette Peters and Julian Sands all make appearances as other artists and friends. I don't know how close to actual events the film was and I don't really care. It's still one of my favorite movies.
Of course, another, major, factor in independence is financial freedom. Got credit card debts? Student loans? No savings whatsoever? The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous and Broke by Suze Orman is a very useful and non-depressing guide to taking control of your financial present and future. She doesn't give you the same tired advice everybody else seems to give you (like, have 8 months living expenses saved, yeah I'll get right on that). Use the book in conjunction with her website www.suzeorman.com (which you get a free account on) to create your very own personalized plan for getting your financial act together. Permanently.
There is nothing more powerful than finding the courage to be who you are without reference to what you think others want you to be. That is what the Guru calls independence. Of course, independence is not easy to achieve or to maintain. The pressure to conform, particularly in today's political climate, is constant and onerous. Even the Guru needs a little inspiration from time to time. And when she does, she cracks open The Seductress or schedules a personal film festival. These books and films might not be what does it for you – the key is to figure out the best way to be who you are and do whatever helps you to maintain that. Good luck and good viewing!
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